I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize