I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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