hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
