im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Enjoy the penises
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
