So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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