it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize