He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
NoShamevember. You game?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize