1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
