I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
