I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
