Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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