I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
should my penis look like a turkey
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize