You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
