Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
