I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
