it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
honey bunches of taint.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
