GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
