I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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