Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize