don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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