the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
