so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize