There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
