is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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