I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
