yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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