Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize