Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
