Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
