i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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