How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
