he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
