No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
A+ Viking dick
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
