please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
