He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
