my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Randomize
