dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
