I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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