After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
