i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
