Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
