worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I don't deserve a penis
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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