I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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