i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
