Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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