At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
