So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize