is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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