it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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