paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
