Ambien. No doubt about it.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
