I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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