there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
