I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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