Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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