i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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