I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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