He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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