I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
