Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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