That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
