I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
