Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
